We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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