if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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