Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
