I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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