champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
