dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
