ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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