I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
