i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
