Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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