a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
