Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
