I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize