I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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