I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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