We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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