that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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