Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize