this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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