No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
