ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
