true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
