wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
