youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
