I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
