Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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