just come out here and I will go home with you...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
