I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
im holly from the hills drunk
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
