Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Dear god my vagina.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize