that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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