how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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