I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
