Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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