It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize