Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
