am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
