shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
you had me at cake vodka
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
this hospital has no fireball
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
