well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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