Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
No subtext here. People are naked.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
