Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
