where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
