should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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