You made me cry and you don't even care
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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