i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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