I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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