so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
