Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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