i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
