I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
