what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
