Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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