used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
