All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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