Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize