people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
