i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We had to coat check the pizza.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
