ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
