Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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