you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
